I had a pretty incredible experience today that gave me such a sense of both exhilaration and peace.
As most know by now, Melissa and I have been dealing with a pretty sick kitty. Our cat, Kramer, was diagnosed with vaccine-induced fibrosarcoma. It’s a form of a very regionally-aggressive cancer that seems to be caused by the rabies vaccine. Our baby has a large tumor on his right, rear leg – pretty high up. The past months have been spent meeting with specialists of all kinds to determine our best course of action, as we understand this to be a terminal diagnosis. (As an aside, I’d encourage all you pet owners, particularly cats, to speak with your vet about this issue. It seems it’s mostly caused by the 3-year vaccine versus the 1-year, but they’re not certain that the 1-year can’t be the culprit as well. While they claim it is rare (about 1 in 10,000 cats), I still feel it is extremely important to discuss with your vet. Should I have any more cats in the future, I plan on strongly considering not vaccinating them.)
Back to my incredible experience… Melissa and I have consulted with vets, oncologists, and homeopaths in an effort to help our little man. The strongly suggested treatment was full amputation of the leg, including the hip area, followed by chemo and radiation. After much consideration, we decided not to put him through that as we feared the stress of those procedures alone could be fatal. It was a difficult decision, but one we feel is in his best interest, not necessarily ours. So while I feel like we’ve been doing a darn good job of tending to him in a most compassionate and Kramer-centered way, we both had a strong sense of needing to know more – from the man himself.
A loving and dear friend of mine, John, connected me with a colleague of his who is an intuitive. Danielle MacKinnon communicates with both humans and animals, and I was eager to speak with her to learn what Kramer wants or needs during this difficult time. And what I learned was unbelievably helpful. Here’s a bit of a recap:
As I imagined, Kramer strongly senses the anxiety and worry we have about him. What I didn’t realize is that he feels responsible for our worry, so he is trying to wish away his leg to calm us down. Danielle told me that he doesn’t even see the leg as a part of him; that it’s disconnected. Both because he doesn’t want to wrap up his entire identity in his illness, and because it’s causing us all stress. He said that he can handle the leg, but doesn’t think I can. 🙂 He also said to her, “I want the leg. Don’t get rid of it.” That was incredible, because Danielle had no idea that that was the recommended treatment! “OK, I’m going to pass along this message,” she said. “I don’t know what it means, but here goes.” I then told her that it was an option we were encouraged to strongly consider and that we both felt like it wasn’t the right move. It was so great to get affirmation that we did the right thing.
Kramer kept referring to his tumor as the “tight ball,” and I was so concerned that he’s really suffering from it, but I now know that he’s not in debilitating pain; that his leg does feel weak and a little achy, kind of like your muscles after a workout. Danielle taught me how to do some energy healing work on him around his “tight ball” to help alleviate the discomfort. We tested it while on the phone and I could feel the loving energy strongly in my body, and coursing into my fingertips! Truly amazing.
She said that Kramer loves when I hand feed him (mind you, she had no idea that I had been doing this because his appetite has been very weak). He prefers that over eating from his dish (oh, great, this should be fun!). He says he can tell my anxiety lessens when I do that, and, as a result, he feels better. Apparently, our worry about him is where most of his discomfort is coming from. So our job during this time is to be with him with less anxiety (easier said than done!). He kept communicating to her, “No more worry energy.” She recommended getting some Rescue Remedy (homeopathic drops used for anxiety) and putting some in his water. Oh, and she also recommended putting some in MY water. 🙂
I learned so many important things during our talk – that I have the ability to do some powerful energy work, that Kramer wants me to gently – and briefly! – massage around his “tight ball,” that he wants us to try and be with him in the way we were before his diagnosis, and to occasionally feed him Wendy’s hamburgers (don’t ask). 🙂
That is just a sampling of what I learned, and Kramer shared, during our time together. There were several specific things she spoke of that she could never have known otherwise. So, believe what you will. All I know is that I’m a believer, and now feel much better about how to tend to him. I am so, so grateful to Johnny for making this connection. Upon thanking him (in tears), in his signature humility, he simply said, “That’s what friends are for.”